Extraordinary Paraphernalia

The last few years have been filled with new beginnings not only for myself but for pop stars long thought lost to history as well as ageing scientific instruments now rejuvenated by man’s touch. I can’t speak for anyone else but some of these new starts are more welcome than others; I think the number of people who would rather not hear a greyed and withered Spandau Ballet outnumber those who would by an astronomical amount. For me though, the last year has brought some more welcome new beginnings such as the chance to become a new person and to do things I’d never had the chance to do before.

I’m now coming to the end of my first year at University with two exams under my belt and two more to go before I can throw caution to the wind once more. The year has gone surprisingly fast, much like the years before it, but it brings it in perspective when it can be said that I’m a quarter of my way through my degree course. At nineteen years old it can also be said that I’m nearly a quarter of the way through my life, statistically speaking. It’s not something I think I want to believe. In this time I’ve done what every other child who enters the system is pushed to do: primary school, secondary school, sixth form and now University. Over this time I’ve met and made friends with many people and all through this the person that I am today, right now, was being moulded and reshaped numerous times.

Coming to University gives many a rare clean slate with which to work with - I think I was the only one in my year to come to the University I am studying at - but few take advantage of this, if indeed they think they need to reinvent themselves. Before I packed my bags to move in I knew I wanted to be someone different here. I wanted to change in ways I couldn’t have back home and coming here allowed me to do that. In some ways I did change. I changed how I looked and some of my opinions and views about the world and things in it also changed thanks in part to the influence of the new people around me. The issue of whether these changes, whether for the better or worse, are temporary or permanent is something at the back of my mind at the moment.

I would bet that if you were to look back over your life once your time was up, patterns would appear that only then you are able to see. It’s the equivalent of having to view the land from high above to see things you can’t from the ground. Patterns that shouldn’t be there because you learnt not to do those things any more: being attracted to those you shouldn’t, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, changing into someone that someone else wants you to be… the list could go on and I’m sure you could add to it. We are who we are. We cannot change that. I will always be me and make mistakes. I will always most likely do things I shouldn’t. Spandau Ballet will always be terrible. We cannot change that.

This entry is a new beginning and fingers crossed the start of something periodic. Hopefully there will be others who join me along the way. Will you be one of them?